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HELP! your feedback on one of my songs

Started by Voodoo, December 18, 2012, 08:24:54 AM

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Voodoo

Hey guys...

Wanted to get some feedback on a song that me and my partner wrote.
We wrote all the music, melodies, and lyrics and are currently in the process of finding a *better*
singer to come in and re-record the vocals so they sound more professional and less processed.

After that, our goal is to get the polished song to a bigger artist... and hopefully have it cut sometime in the future.

So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE... let me know your first instincts.

You guys/gals listen to so much good music and know the hits inside out. So constructive or ANY criticism is requested!

Are the hooks there? Are the lyrics there? Could you see some Cody Simpson type artist singing it on stage? Could you hear this playing out of your car radio?

THANK YOU SO MUCH IN ADVANCE!

Here is the song:
https://soundcloud.com/thewolfpak/u-make-my-heart-go

Again, thank you so much!

Joshua

I think you're halfway there. The pre-chorus to me is definitely the strongest element, don't change a thing there! It had me ready for a killer chorus, but then I felt it flatlined. I know at this stage it's a demo, but the production in the chorus really needs to feel huge so it doesn't just sound like a continuation of what's come before it.

The first verse melody doesn't sit with it's chords at all in my mind, but the changes you made to it the second verse were much better.

My only other criticism, even though it's written for a young demographic, is the "Boom, Boom, Boom" lyric. In the pre-chorus it works well, but it doesn't feel like a strong enough theme to base the chorus around.

Feel free to take or leave my thoughts, but I hope I've helped even a little. :)


Voodoo

Thanks for your feedback Joshua. I really appreciate it. I'll take it all into consideration because that outside ear is exactly what I want.

Thanks again and thanks to any one else who can chime in :-)

Rebecca

I really like the song, I really like the beginning, it almost seems like it's a will i am track. However, after a while the song seems repetitive.
but well done and good luck

Voodoo

Quote from: Rebecca on December 19, 2012, 10:38:36 AM
I really like the song, I really like the beginning, it almost seems like it's a will i am track. However, after a while the song seems repetitive.
but well done and good luck

thanks rebecca... i appreciate your time and feedback :-)