Hey guys, just wanted to share a song with you. Back in May, Georg_e approached me to co-write a track with him based on an idea he had about 80's band Wham!... so we've been working together since then and this is the result. Half way through writing we decided to go with a rap for the verses, and we came across a brilliant indie rapper by the name of Tyrael Sterling who ended up writing on the track as well. Anyway, we hope you like it... comment away. :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nb1alaUeUdw (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nb1alaUeUdw)
the first rap part is horrible, hate his accent (well, matter of taste) but apart from that he mixes rapping with singing and if he does it that way, he should at least be in the right pitch ... however the refrain is quite amazing even though the first one is too thin, vocal- and production-wise (I know it's for the sake of the increase, still too thin imo)
all in all a pretty good song
Woww the chorus is amazing , great melody and great Synth in it. Great work!
It sounds very Professional.
Quote from: B Steady on July 27, 2013, 06:38:09 PM
the first rap part is horrible, hate his accent (well, matter of taste) but apart from that he mixes rapping with singing and if he does it that way, he should at least be in the right pitch...
all in all a pretty good song
Why thank-you. About Tyrael's rap, it's totally in key when he's singing so I'm not sure what makes you think it's not, and we chose him specifically for his British accent and his animated style. But fair enough if it's not your thing.
Quote from: Raul_esp on July 27, 2013, 06:50:49 PM
Woww the chorus is amazing , great melody and great Synth in it. Great work!
It sounds very Professional.
Thanks Raul, glad you like it!
George and Joshua: Glad to finally hear the result of this collaboration. I have to say I'm not a big fan of the rap-part but I don't even know why. He's not off-key but it sounds different or "un-professional" in certain spots. Again, I don't know why.
But holy cow, the chorus! Needless to say, this is a killer. The melody has you hooked. But if I may give a bit of criticism: When the vocals come in, they unfortunately do so on the lower scale of the tonality. What i mean is that your voice gets weaker the lower the notes, but the higher it goes, the more your voice shines. Particularly in the early parts of the chorus, you outright rule ("...kiss in the dark").
I also like the overall sound with the background instrumentalisation. It sounds pro, and that's all that counts. :) I think you guys have a great song, I'd just reconsider having a rap in there. Or maybe try it out with vocals instead of a rap. Hard to tell until you try it out.
May I ask where the guitar-loops are from that you used in the background?
Congratulations on this track, guys. I think this is the best of the collabs we've heard so far...?
I am not a rap fan (anymore). But it's definitely not bad and works
.
But what of course I am in the target audience of the pre-chorus and chorus.
Beautiful melody and great pop-voice.
It reminds me of DARIN and think this could be a great track for him.
The middle8 has a Cheiron vibe, it sounds very professional.
Do you plan to offer this song to other artists? Or put it on iTunes?
And is there a non-rap version?
Thanks guys for your comments and impressions -- this is the kind of feedback that can help make a song better, and we'll take it all under consideration for sure :-) Any more suggestions are very welcome -- it's really helpful to have a lot of good ears to figure out what's working and not working in a new song!
Hey guys, thanks for the comments. We started out with a vocal verse, but nothing we came up with was working. I suddenly had the idea to do a 90's style British rap in the vein of East 17, but finding someone who raps in that style was impossible. Then I found Tyrael, the British accent mixed with Jamaican style can throw you at first, but we fell in love with him. He's kinda "Rizzle Kicks"!
Originally the pre-chorus and chorus were sung in the same octave, but we needed the chorus to really take off, so we put it up one whole octave higher than the pre-chorus. No doubt someone with bigger range would be able to shift the key much higher.
We only intend for it to be a demo for another artist, but we figured we might as well put our names on it.
On the loops, the electric guitar is from a Prime Loops pack called Pop Guitars. The acoustic guitar in the verse I grabbed off Looperman, and spliced it's chords up to fit.
I'm amazed how high you can sing and it still has feelings.
The future artist must have a bit of a range. :)
Quote from: turnaround on July 29, 2013, 04:15:31 PM
The future artist must have a bit of a range. :)
Hahaha I just mentioned how limited my range was... what are you saying turnaround?!? :P
I do think I could push my range a bit if I sang all the time, but I do struggle to hit the top notes in most male pop tracks. "Shape Of My Heart" for example has some really low verse notes yet I can barely make the high notes of the final chorus.
Hehe, it's all a matter of relativity. When I compare this to my range, it's huge :D
Screw that! All you need is a song tailor-made for this range you can cover. :-)
Quote from: Axel on July 29, 2013, 04:30:30 PM
Screw that! All you need is a song tailor-made for this range you can cover. :-)
Yeah I guess if I was writing for myself that would have to be a big factor. I would love to get some singing lessons though, I'm sure someone could help me open things up a bit. Apparently Nick Carter had lessons recently and he stands to be probably the best vocalist in BSB now. Not sure what happened to poor Brian, he struggles so badly with his lower register now, I wonder if the Swine Flu he got destroyed it. I love his tone though more than anyone else in the group.
By the way guys, my explanation of why we did this or that is only for interest sake, not in defense of our decisions... so don't let that stop the feedback coming, we appreciate it! :D
I expected something more poppy and uptempo. Sounds professionally done but the melody is repetitive, there weren't verse melody-changes, this is something I find smart and not every producer does.
Good job, but not exactly my style. Keep going guys, you're awesome!
It's weird, I'm so hearing Darin singing in the chorus. Someone should approach his management. 8)
Do you plan to get some buzz on blogs etc? I really think this is a great track for pop fans and it would be a shame if this was unheard by a bigger audience.
Clever lyrics btw. Haven't heard a song with such a theme before. Makes it pretty unique.
Have you registered the song at APRA or somewhere else?
Quote from: turnaround on July 29, 2013, 07:37:59 PM
It's weird, I'm so hearing Darin singing in the chorus. Someone should approach his management. 8)
Do you plan to get some buzz on blogs etc? I really think this is a great track for pop fans and it would be a shame if this was unheard by a bigger audience.
Clever lyrics btw. Haven't heard a song with such a theme before. Makes it pretty unique.
Have you registered the song at APRA or somewhere else?
Thanks so much, Turnaround!! That's very helpful to know who can hear it maybe being good for --I will look into researching contacting Darin myself, but in meantime if you or anyone else has any inside tips on that we'd be very grateful. Well, my favorite blog (besides this one!!) is swedishstereo.blogspot.......maybe we should just send them a link to the song? PS, I'm a BMI member, but until there is serious interest in a song, there's no need/purpose in registering it....it'll just sit there :-)
Just to let you know, the song (ok, the chorus) is totally glued to my brain now. Thanks for that! lol
(Walks away humming... Nanana nana oooonly haaalf a band...)
Quote from: Axel on July 29, 2013, 11:51:23 PM
Just to let you know, the song (ok, the chorus) is totally glued to my brain now. Thanks for that! lol
(Walks away humming... Nanana nana oooonly haaalf a band...)
I'm sure Joshua will be fiendishly happy to hear that when he wakes up in Australia tomorrow, Axel! He wrote the chorus :-)
Quote from: georg_e on July 30, 2013, 12:53:35 AM
I'm sure Joshua will be fiendishly happy to hear that when he wakes up in Australia tomorrow, Axel! He wrote the chorus :-)
Yes, thaaaanks Axel! :D
Listenend to this when I got up this morning, and now the melody is stuck in my head the and won't get out. 8)
I really begin to enjoy the rap. It's somehow very melodic and fun to listen to. Good flow.
Quote from: turnaround on August 01, 2013, 02:24:07 PM
I really begin to enjoy the rap. It's somehow very melodic and fun to listen to. Good flow.
:D I also love the ad lib he put in right after the second prechorus going into the chorus -- really gives it a lift there! Here's Tyrael's YOuTube channel www.youtube.com/user/GuiniiKings
Yes. Now I have listened to the track so many times I start to recognize all the details like ad-lips, sounds. Really good work.
Thanks heaps turnaround, so glad you like it! :) I've had to stop listening to it so that I can hopefully come back and approach it with fresh ears again to see what I think. For now I just have to trust how I felt about it early on.
Follow-up song by us :-) http://www.audiomack.com/song/georgecotten/love-is-a-user
It's fantastic! I love it. well done George and Joshua!
Quote from: Rebecca on November 09, 2014, 10:14:14 AM
It's fantastic! I love it. well done George and Joshua!
Thank you for the kind words, Rebecca! :-)