So Hard To Believe (I'm Leaving You)

[awonip]

Hey guys I finally had some time to re-produce this old song of mine.

Would love to hear comments as it's early days at this stage!

http://m.soundcloud.com/loungestudios/so-hard-to-believe-im-leaving-you

(C) 2011. Written by Kredabilly, Produced by Stephen Beran / Kredabilly, Vocals Loz P.

[ShockdioN]

O-M-G I love the chorus !!! good work !!

Do you sell beats?

[awonip]

Thanks mate! There's a rap before the bridge that's not included in this version. Aim to get it out by September.

I don't sell beats but I'm interested in collabs.

[Adam B]

O-M-G I love the chorus !!! good work !!

Do you sell beats?

Don't wanna diss the song but what do you like with the beats? Sounds like ordinary simple 4 to the floor to me. Also I don't like the toms -don't add anything, more like disrupt the flow. To me it sounds like the producer was left out of ideas and added some toms to fill the space.

[Adam B]

OK. now I'm gonna diss the song. This sounds like a remix where the music is slightly off.

Overall the song lacks energy and is undercompressed, don't sound up to date -it sounds like something from the 90s. There's some arp going on for the whole track and it just gets boring after a while. One thing I like with it is the vocals, unfortunately there's only lead and the track would benefit from backgrounds and harmonies.

I you were an A&R and heard this track for the first time -would you listen to the whole song? Getting the answer "yes" to that question is all that really matters..

[AlexanderLaBrea]

Seeing as this is a Cheiron forum I gotta view this from a hit/radio perspective. Unfortunately it doesn't have "it". As the previous poster said, an A&R would probably have turned this off pretty fast. Contrary to what he said though, the vocal is the biggest problem with this song. This is where the focus should be on a demo, and her voice is not so good, the vocal delivery and sound is very "bedroom". But the biggest issue is the melodies. The chorus is NOT  the chorus. That should be cut in half, at least, and be used as the pre-chorus. The "leaving you" bit has something though!
My tip is, use that as an outliner and write a new big chorus, new verses, and try to find more hit factor in the melodies. The track itself is easier to fix later on! Keep working and you night have a great song in the future! Sorry if I'm sounding negative, but better it comes from here than being shut down by A&R's and burning the bridges there.

[awonip]

Wow! It's good to get some opinions on here! And I appreciate people took the time to listen to the whole song AND post a short critique. Thank you that's precisely what I was looking for.

This is a demo and there were no embellishments in this version, just a cut and paste affair as it didn't receive a full production. Mainly it was a test to see if the melody could stand up on its own, because as one of the posters said instrument sounds and production can be relatively easier fixes. And I think the question has been answered lol. I've had mixed feedback re: chorus and it seems that continues here! I personally think the chorus could be stronger melodically but I don't mind the current length.

Regarding the vocals Loz basically had to sing it on the spot as a cold sing so I think she did a pretty good job considering.

I'll keep posting revisions of the song as it evolves as I do believe there are some elements of a good song in this one. Not ready to kill it completely yet. Thanks again for everyone's comments! Let's see what happens with it.

[j.fco.morales]

Don't waste your time on full production: if a song works on piano or guitar, you have it.

The production is like the clothes of the song, and the melody is the body.
And you can wear anything but not everything fits perfect

[AlexanderLaBrea]

That is true to some extent, but it only really applies to the songwriting process. If a song sounds good even with only a guitar, you've come a long way. But when it comes down to presenting a demo to people in the business, it has to sound pretty much like radio. You're gonna compete with thousands of extremely talented people. Showing up and saying "don't mind the Production, just listen to the melody" won't work.

I'm not saying you meant for him to do so at all, just pointing it out !

[j.fco.morales]

Well, a good song is a good song.

If you're trying to break it as a producer it's different. There are many talented producers in every genre that can take your song to another level. It's way easier to make it as a songwriter than a producer.

[AlexanderLaBrea]

Yes, I agree with you on that. But the fact still is, when pitching your song(s) to A&R's and such, the whole package must be there. You can't show up with a bedroom demo where the singer is a little off at places and the mixing is all over the place. If you can't produce it yourself, then you need someone to do it for you, otherwise they'll just turn off. They have people contacting them every day - why would they choose someone with only a nack for writing a decent song when they have a bunch of people who can write a decent song AND produce the shit out of it.
You need to stand out and show off a great product. By todays standards, the demo you have has to be so good as its practically ready for radio already. If you want to branch out as a songwriter that's fine, but you still need to bring "the package".

[j.fco.morales]

Yes, I agree with you on that. But the fact still is, when pitching your song(s) to A&R's and such, the whole package must be there. You can't show up with a bedroom demo where the singer is a little off at places and the mixing is all over the place. If you can't produce it yourself, then you need someone to do it for you, otherwise they'll just turn off. They have people contacting them every day - why would they choose someone with only a nack for writing a decent song when they have a bunch of people who can write a decent song AND produce the shit out of it.
You need to stand out and show off a great product. By todays standards, the demo you have has to be so good as its practically ready for radio already. If you want to branch out as a songwriter that's fine, but you still need to bring "the package".

Considering that, absolutely agree.
The things is: produce songs is hard if you have no equipment and you're not that good arranging songs... so, be clever selecting your collaborators/partners

[awonip]

Yeah I agree about what it takes to get noticed by A&R. Don't get me wrong the version I put up was not going to be anywhere near the final version used for pitching purposes. From past experience I find the mixer is also an integral part of getting the song to that higher level. But for this one, it's back to the writing board. Can't win them all haha. Good discussion guys, it was a good read.

[j.fco.morales]

Mixing is SO important! A bad mixing ruins it all.