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Other music and off-topic => Studios, Sounds, Vocals and Tech-Talk => Topic started by: Voodoo on May 15, 2014, 10:28:38 PM

Title: New Song I Wrote - "Lifeguard"
Post by: Voodoo on May 15, 2014, 10:28:38 PM
Check it out and tell me your thoughts. Been pitching this one around and have gotten some great feedback from A&R. So hopefully something great connects with it!

https://soundcloud.com/thewolfpak/lifeguard
Title: Re: New Song I Wrote - "Lifeguard"
Post by: AlexanderLaBrea on May 16, 2014, 01:23:58 AM
Always fun to hear new songs! I can give you some pointers on the top of my head. You seem to be thinking in "the right way" as far as poparrangements/lyrics is concerned which is a big thing. The track is pretty solid, allthough the whistle hook in the chorus (which is the hook of the song) needs to go WAY up. And the song melodies aren't really cutting it. The chorus doesn't "lift", and for it to be a competitative pop song it really needs to. The chorus especially is a bit to monotonous. You're half way there with the whistle, so aim at giving more power to the melodies by going higher, pushing the vocals a bit more during the chorus. Also try and make more things happen production wise in the chorus to make it BIG.

With that said, you've come quite some way. Just continue working and it'll turn out great in the end! Work always pay off!
Title: Re: New Song I Wrote - "Lifeguard"
Post by: j.fco.morales on May 16, 2014, 02:16:19 AM
Quote from: AlexanderLaBrea on May 16, 2014, 01:23:58 AM
Always fun to hear new songs! I can give you some pointers on the top of my head. You seem to be thinking in "the right way" as far as poparrangements/lyrics is concerned which is a big thing. The track is pretty solid, allthough the whistle hook in the chorus (which is the hook of the song) needs to go WAY up. And the song melodies aren't really cutting it. The chorus doesn't "lift", and for it to be a competitative pop song it really needs to. The chorus especially is a bit to monotonous. You're half way there with the whistle, so aim at giving more power to the melodies by going higher, pushing the vocals a bit more during the chorus. Also try and make more things happen production wise in the chorus to make it BIG.

With that said, you've come quite some way. Just continue working and it'll turn out great in the end! Work always pay off!

That's the work of the recording artists, isn't?
I agree with the good feedback, congrats!
Title: Re: New Song I Wrote - "Lifeguard"
Post by: AlexanderLaBrea on May 16, 2014, 10:24:01 AM
No, in this case it's in the way the melodies are written :)
Title: Re: New Song I Wrote - "Lifeguard"
Post by: Tano87 on May 16, 2014, 02:24:45 PM
Congrats...the song is very very cute. Very Dr Luke...It just needs bigger instruments sounds. The whistle in the chorus is cute too but it needs to be higher...the low note (mmh) is too predominant.

PS: NOTHIN' TO LOSE (demo) is very OLA - I'm In Love XD
Title: Re: New Song I Wrote - "Lifeguard"
Post by: Axel on May 16, 2014, 02:59:34 PM
This song is really good. I wish it had more drive in the chorus but overall this is one of the most professional songs I heard here lately on the forum. The melodies could maybe be a little more imaginative, but who are we to complain as long as we don't deliver anything remotely this good. :)

keep up the great work!
Title: Re: New Song I Wrote - "Lifeguard"
Post by: Voodoo on May 16, 2014, 08:45:32 PM
Thanks for all the great feedback guys!
Title: Re: New Song I Wrote - "Lifeguard"
Post by: nznexus on May 24, 2014, 01:18:41 AM
chorus needs to be stronger.

more elements.

more instruments..

id stack vocals like crazy if u know..

Title: Re: New Song I Wrote - "Lifeguard"
Post by: nznexus on May 24, 2014, 01:21:01 AM
also i would change the lifeguard baby into somethig other lyrically
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After the win, I stayed focused. I checked the rules and details. The withdrawal process was smooth. Funds arrived on time. That result confirmed my approach. Discipline once again paid off.
 
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After the win, I stayed focused. I checked the terms and details. The payout process was smooth. Money arrived on time. That result confirmed my method. Control once again worked.
 
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